In the last couple of weeks my mother has gotten very sick. She had a minor heart attack and she has no strength-she cannot walk on her own right now. She has had morbid obesity and emphysema.

She had been living in her own apt but now she must live in a convalescent hospital. She is extremely depressed. My brother who lives where she lives outside of L.A. believes she will not live long unless she breaks out of the depression.

She is around 75 years old and is mentally very alert and active, but physically she is in very poor shape and she knows it.

The good news is that there is starting to be an opportunity for some dialog between my brother and myself. In the last 2 years we have talked three times. The first time he told be I should have slit my throat when I was suicidal. The second time a week ago, he got mad when we were discussing my brother and hung up the phone. Today when he called we talked for some time and it was pleasant even though it was about hard things to talk about.

I do not care to see my mom live in ongoing suffering if her emphysema gets worse.If it is time for her to go I am OK with that. I believe for now God wants to use her situation to help build some rapport with my brother. I just have to be very careful what I say.

I believe God is a miracle working God. but he is not going to heal my mom from years of being overweight or heal her of her emphysema. But he can keep the emphysema in check and help her with her depression. I do not believe she has a saving relationship with Jesus, so of course, I want her to become a Christian. But it his something taboo for me to talk about so God will have to use others.